Clarr Report: Jan. 27nth Nikki Unplugged (no meds)

My emotionally disturbed, seven year old student, Nikki is going through a cruel and sudden transition. Her mother refuses to give her medication in the morning before she gets on the bus because she is just too darn lazy. So, we have to give her the first pill when she gets to school. Nikki has to ride the bus, arrive at school, and wait for the nurse to get her the Concerta. Once she has swallowed the pill it takes between 30 to 45 minutes for it to kick in. Naturally, I have to deal with her for the first hour that she is in this precarious state. Today, she licked and spit on her morning paperwork so thoroughly that I could have rung it out and had enough liquid to boil Rigatoni with. Then she took flight around the room, flapping her arms and cawing for no apparent reason. The principal came into my room and asked me why I was not at the PTA meeting last night as Nikki was perched up on her desk staring down at her. The flapping continued, the cawing continued. She called my 9 year old, 220 pound student named John, 'fat' and 'ugly.'She threw damaging items at my smart board.
I was in a tough spot because my 220 pound student will get downright violent if I do not get him breakfast, but with Nikki acting this way and the Concerta's ineffectiveness to this point, I couldn't take her into the hallways. Making tough decisions is part of the job, so I chose option B) Risk the hallway thrill ride rather than deal with a violent, strong and hungry John.
Embarrassing is not even the word for the things that Nikki did in the hallway. First of all, she saw a chair that was labelled 'wet' - a child most likely pee'd in it. She got on the chair with her knees and pushed, and - since the chair had wheels - she helped herself to a joy ride for a few moments until I grabbed hold of it and found out why it was labelled 'wet.' Then, she pushed herself up against the wall and pretended to be asleep for a good minute. Once she had her fun with this game and I pleaded with to stop by offering her riches, my car - anything I could think of - she sprinted down the hall like a young Marion Jones in her prime drug days. I found her in the cafeteria, calmly putting food onto a tray, flashing me that million dollar smile and letting me know that I reminded her of her dead cat named 'Precious.' What an honor, I know how much she loved that cat.
The Concerta had finally taken effect and Nikki was calm enough to tote the tray of breakfast food all the way back to the classroom without anymore mishaps. To top it off, John got to eat many breakfast's because there were some absences, therefore, everyone was happy.
Apparently, I have not received the worst of the abuse that Nikki can dish out when she is not on her med's. The bus driver told me that Nikki said that she looked more like a "Crack-Whore", then a bus driver. Ouch.


**********The outside shell of a Concerta tablet is the immediate dosage, then the rest of it slowly dissolves in time released increments. Supposedly, it lasts the whole day. Not in Nikki's case, thats why we have to give her another just three hours later. I have another student, named Ricky, that has the same type of medicinal schedule and he is still wild throughout the day.**********

Martin Luther King Jr.

It's nice to be off on this beautiful day in the South. The schools down here actually close for this occasion, unlike most other places of business. Among whites in the South, Martin Luther King Jr. is not really their kinda guy, even though he was from Atlanta. Luther was a man who incited change and concentrated his efforts on making things better for African Americans. Southern whites are as resistant to adhering to change as organic grocery stores are of selling corn dogs.
Red necks could care less about Martin Luther King Jr. They are too busy washing off the deer blood from the hood of their Ford truck - you know the truck with the Confederate Flag tied to a windshield wiper with chicken wire. I guess we have to give them a break, they were probably too drunk to tie the dearly departed deer to the hood properly.

Class Report Jan. 11nth, 2010: Nope, they are still bad!

My students pulled the wool over my eyes big time last week. I thought I was actually making some headway with them, curing them of their emotional problems through my expert behavior management techniques and unmatched charm. They behaved so well last week! Turns out, they were just toying with me.
It all started when John, the 215 pound nine year old, refused to do his reading lesson since he had to go 1st. Shockingly, offering him a snack didn't work. I resorted to threats; claiming that I would take away all of his computer time if he did not immediately comply. He yelled and begrudgingly oozed to my desk for his reading lesson. After we finished, he went to his computer for 15 minutes of free time, and I asked Ricky to come for his reading lesson. Soon after Ricky and I began the lesson, John turned the volume all the way up on the computer; he wanted to make sure it was impossible for Ricky and I to get into the lesson. So, I got up, walked over to John and gave him three options: 1) Turn the volume all the way down and obey computer station rules 2) Go cool off in time-out 3) Go back to his desk and put his head down. John chose option 4) Smash the mouse down on the desk, try to rip the cord out of the mouse, try to rip the internet cord out of the wall, fight his teacher as his teacher tried to defend the innocent school property. I was unaware that I gave him that fourth option. This altercation ended with me restraining him to the floor as he tried to punch my face. I'm convinced that this is the strongest nine year old on the planet. After John calmed down, did his timeout, he was much, much better and even apologized.
Then it was Nikki's turn. On the playground she kept taking the boy's football and trying to throw it over the playground fence and onto the street. I had to give her a timeout on a playground bench. Once on the bench, she cursed out whoever passed her, using choice words like "fag" and "gay". Recess had to be cut short due to her inglorious behavior. After a whole lot of complaining and threatening to kill Nikki for making us come in early, I got the boys settled down and Nikki in timeout. She swore at, cursed at, screamed at and threatened everyone she could think of, even her mailman! - I'm not too sure what her beef with him is.
All this happened after an early morning conversation between Nikki and John, about Jesus, in which Nikki claimed that Jesus hears your swear words and will punish you for each one once you die. She also said that Satan lives in "the hot place" which she would rather not go to when she dies. The last revelation that Nikki proclaimed was that bad kids "burn up" all the time, everyday in hell. The saddest part of it is that her mother tells her these things to try to keep her in line. I understand it is very hard to keep this child in line, but can't a grown up think of something other than a line from Dante's Inferno?

Class Report Jan. 6 - 8, 2009: Good kids?

My students were actually good this week; I think CNN might run a special on it. Talk about a newsflash, I can't remember the last time all of them were good for a five day stretch. It must be too good to be true - and it was. On the fifth day, when they were so close to going a whole week without causing me any indigestion, Nikki could not hold it together in the lunch room. Before we got to the lunchroom she stopped at the door and exclaimed, "I'm not going in there!" She said this over and over as the other children got their lunches and sat down. Apparently, her problem was not going into the lunchroom, but having to sit at the lunch table with Ricky, who had been annoying her. When I finally coaxed her into getting her lunch and sitting down she got right in Ricky's face with her fist cocked back and said,
" I am going to knock your teeth out lil boy!" Knowing that this seven year old girl is not gun shy when it comes to hitting boys - matter of fact she is trigger happy - I dragged her back out of the cafeteria. She flopped around on the floor, cried a river, and cursed me. Since no other teacher was going to help me, or any staff member for that matter, I had to figure out a plan for getting this psychotic child back to the classroom while the rest of my class was in the lunchroom. It turned out that I had to cut lunch short - the children had to pick up their trays, carry them back to the classroom, and finish eating there. Needless to say, I did not get to have lunch that afternoon.
This was the only outrageous behavior to report this week - so, all in all, I will take this week and store it in the dream category, because this has been the best week that I have ever experienced as a Special Ed. teacher.

Class Report Jan. 5th 2010: Two Priceless Quotes From a Second Grade Student

Nikki, my 7 year old female student, was in ultra rare form this morning. It was hard for me to get her to quiet down. However, in all the verbal debris there were some gems to salvage. The first one was a bit scary. Nikki was talking about her dead grandmother when all of a sudden she covered her mouth, her eyes got wide as saucers, and she shuddered. When I asked her what was wrong she replied, "if I talk about granny she will haunt me." Nikki has told me of paranormal activity in her house. For example, she says that sometimes her bed lifts off the ground or it just shakes, she sees apparitions walking about in her house including her granny, she hears people talking in the house when everyone is asleep, and the Television sometimes has red eyes and talks to her. Valueless tales of a emotionally challenged little girl? Or are these accounts true and the reason that she is emotionally disabled?
The second one is a humorous one. She simply said that all white kids do not have brothers or sisters. Kids raised in all black communities sometimes think of white kids as fantastically over-privileged. My students are constantly asking me questions about white people as if white people are things they have heard about but never actually seen. Although they don't consider me white, they assume I know all about white people. When I ask them what race they think I am, sometimes they say "Teacher", sometimes they say, "Italian" (which is true) - but when they are mad at me they call me "Cracka" or "Mexican."

"Santa is over-rated" - a real student story.

"Santa is over-rated" is a real quote from one of my students, he is in second grade. One Christmas he wanted a puppy, so he asked Santa for it. This unassuming lad was up before the sun rose to see if there was a puppy waiting under the tree. When he looked with wide eyes anticipation he saw nothing - no puppy, not even a tail. Suddenly, the door swung open and his father came in carrying a baby dog. The loving father tried to explain to his son how Santa was running late and he simply handed him the puppy instead of putting it under the tree himself. Good try, but the boy did not believe him and the hoax of Christmas had been discovered by a young, suspicious mind. This story really happened.

So goes the question: Should parents tell their children that there is a Santa Claus? Does this take away from your credibility once the children find out that it was all a lie?

Please post your thoughts/ comments.

Is Your Child's Principal Competent?

As you can imagine, a school without competent leadership can be a very hazardous and insidious place. This is the case in my school; Summer's Elementary. We have a phantom principal. She is an incredibly lazy, severely overweight, brutally reclusive punchline.
Let me give you two quick examples so you don't think that I have a principal vendetta and wish to throw her under the school bus. There was an assembly held a few months ago, one of the few that she actually attended. Many parents were packed into the minuscule auditorium. Some of the students in the crowd were obnoxiously loud to the point where the speaker had to ask them to quiet down multiple times. This kept happening and the principal said nothing - did nothing. When it got to the point when someone had to do something, she sprang to action by retreating out of the auditorium and into her office. The parents were outraged and demanded to talk with her. She denied them the privilege of an apology or even the sight of her inflated face. Rather, she hid in her office until all the parents had dispersed and her assorted cookie stash was completely digested.
The next example happened to me personally, but effects the whole school. If you remember in a previous blog I mentioned that I did a private mold test, had it analyzed, and found 7 different kinds of molds floating in my classroom's air supply. We are breathing hazardous toxins - I proved it. I sent the principal a detailed e-mail about the grave condition of my environment and the environment of my students; which is more important. It took her two weeks to even respond. She was not even the one to respond to me, it was her secretary who handed me a note. The note said that the school district would soon be doing a mold test. Why would I want the school district to do a mold test in my classroom? They are just going to lie about the results so they do not have to spend money to fix the problem. Anyway, the principal then rejected an after school meeting from both me and the school nurse to further address the situation. What a spineless, inconsiderate loser.
The principal at my school does not care about the school, the community, or the children. Why would a school district that has already been sued multiple times for educational segregation (which I will talk about in later articles) put a dummy principal in a title 1 elementary school that is serving an underprivileged student population?? 90 percent of the students in my school are poor. In the wintertime, they wear three T-shirts instead of a coat. Their parents drop them off and pick them up on bicycles, even in the freezing weather. The school district gives each teacher a measly $250 dollars a year to spend in their classrooms. This is not close to enough, especially when teachers have to spend it on basic school supplies due to the fact that students will come to school empty-handed. The point that I am trying to make here is that this school district should chose their leaders more carefully and put their strongest principals in the schools that need it most. Instead, they put weak, careless principals in schools that are desperate for a savior. Now I want to throw up.
This tells me that the school district does not care about the school, the community, or the children either. I have heard from multiple sources that our principal has friends in high places and is only principling as a stop in her ambitious attempt to be associate super intendant.
So, the latest news that I have for you came Friday, December 18nth, right before we were dismissed for winter break. All the teachers were ready to go home for the long, restful period when we were called into the library for a mandatory/ emergency meeting. Now what? The super intendant sent one of her cronies to our school to tell us that we no longer had this irrelevant principal. We were getting a new principal. The teachers cheered, some even hugged. Had our half-witted principal been fired, due to her sluggish imprudence? No...... our principal was given a raise. She was put in charge of a massive coordination project that will ultimately put her in charge of an elementary school , a middle school, and a high school as they all move to new locations. It turns out that this principal can now negatively effect the lives of thousands of children, not just the 500 we have at Summer's Elementary. I'm running out of barf bags.
One last thing. The principal that we have been talking about is a lesbian. I don't care what she chooses to be, or anyone else for that matter. The part that kills me is that she brought her lesbian girlfriend to Summer's Elementary during a PTA meeting! By the way, her lesbian girlfriend is the principal of another school in this sorry excuse for an educational district.

Reminds me of myself when I was his age.

The interesting and factual truth about ADHD - According to leading researcher Dr. Russell Barkley

I was one of four hundred teacher fortunate enough to attend a speech given by Dr. Russell Barkley - the leading scientist in ADHD research. If you come across an empirical study dedicated to ADHD, Dr. Barkley's name will most likely be associated with it. He said that telling a student who suffers from ADHD to stop moving and to pay attention would be like telling a person in a wheelchair to roll up a flight of steps. Or it would be like telling a dyslexic person to read on grade level.
He spoke eloquently about his field of expertise to the delight of the crowd. According to Barkley, the mind of an ADHD child operates without one of the main functions of the frontal lobe. In turn, the parents and teachers of these young ones become surrogate frontal lobes. We have to provide them with structured time increments since Barkley says that they suffer from "Time Blindness."
Not only do they need detailed (perhaps even picture) schedules they also need someone to make sure they remain on task.
One of the main problems for any ADHD child is controlling inhibitions. Simply put, they cannot do it. It is not biologically possible. "Their environment becomes more compelling then the job at hand", said the good Doctor. This problem evolves from a lack of working memory. Working memory is basically our ability to keep attention while using our short term memory and the ability to return to a task after an interruption. For instance, as I was typing this article my cat was swatting at a gecko that was on the other side of the sliding glass door. I took many tiny breaks from writing to observe my frustrated and bewildered feline. "If I could just ease my paw through this darn glass", she thought to herself. Every time I paused from typing to watch her, I was able to return to my writing without the least bit of hesitation. This is because my working memory is doing it's job. If I had adult ADHD, then I would lose my train of thought, become overly obsessed with my cat, leave my blog article for another day, and start drawing pictures of the gecko.
Interestingly, Dr. Russell Barkley pin-pointed how children get ADHD. Firstly, he put all of the parents in attendance at ease by saying that it has nothing to do with child-rearing methods; you cannot create an ADHD son or daughter because you are a struggling parent. It is 65 to 75% genetic. The most likely way to tell if your child will have ADHD when it is born is to ask yourself if you or your spouse have it. If you smoke while your pregnant then you are 3 to 5 times more likely to have a child with ADHD. If you couple smoking with drinking then it jumps to 10 times more likely. Also, if a child is born prematurely then it will most likely have ADHD due to the commonness of brain-bleeding. To sum up, ADHD is a hereditary disorder that is by further complicated due to problems during pregnancy and/or birth.
Dr. Barkley and his team discovered the main-brain culprit of ADHD: The Basal Ganglia. The Basal Ganglia is not the culinary spice that you put in homemade soup, it is a group of nuclei in the fore brain that are responsible for motor control and learning. It is 4 to 10 times smaller in the brain of ADHD children. Also, the cerebellum is smaller. This will definitely be the case if there are infections during pregnancy.
Sadly, half of the children who are diagnosed with Leukemia get ADHD because the poison that is given to them to treat the disease effects the brain in a very harmful way. Talk about kicking someone when they are already down.
In my next blog article concerning ADHD I will give the top ten things a parent or teacher can do to help a child with ADHD, according to top researcher Dr. Russell Barkley.

He has an amazing website to educate people about this disorder. Plus you can see what he looks like!
www.RussellBarkley.org.

Class Report Dec 16: Oh the pain!

If you remember, yesterday the thumb on my left hand was badly injured because John threw a chair, which consequently bent it backwards, jammed it and bent the nail in half. Today, on the playground, the kids were at recess. Nikki was participating in one of her favorite pastimes: Throwing her body into my back to earn my attention. She usually hides behind me when I am not looking, crashes into me, then runs away giggling. This behavior continues until I pay her exclusive attention. Today, she bounced into me once, twice - but on the third time I turned around in time to stop her. The problem was that I tried to stop her with the same hand and thumb that was subjected to such torment yesterday. It jammed again - boy did I want to scream. I held it together long enough to get some ice, Ibuprofen, and compassion from the nurse. It swelled up like an elephants foot. She gave me a free X-Ray card so I can check for a hair-line fracture. Two more days till Winter Break.

Class Report Dec 15 - Thank goodness there is only 3 days till winter break.

Today was one of those days where I wish I had chosen a different profession. To make a long list medium size, here are the crimes in which John was found guilty of today: 1) Cursing out an assistant teacher. He told her to "f off" many times.
2) He got a running start and slammed his 200 pound, second grade body into hers at ramming speed. Good thing she is not a small girl - plus she is tough and used to being punched, choked and spit at. 3) He then picked up a desk and slammed it to the ground when he found out that he would have to wait to have his breakfast. 4) For his next act, he picked up a chair and attempted to throw it. Since I did not want any other students suffering head trauma I put my hand out to block the chair's aerial show. This was a mistake. The chair hit my thumb - jamming it badly. Blood was all over since the nail on my thumb bent backwards. John had little remorse and went back to timeout. Later, I asked him if he wanted to apologize for hurting me. He casually said no and that I should have given him his breakfast when he wanted it "so no one would get hurt". I could have easily had John suspended for multiple days, but it is far more of a punishment making him stay in school and do all his work.
After John's fireworks, the kids decided to have a debate concerning whether or not Santa Clause is real. The majority voted, the people spoke - there is no Santa Clause. However, Nikki held on to her theory that Santa is indeed a real person. When questioned why she feels that way, she coyly answered, "Santa is real because he is white."

Class Report: Dec 14, 2009

There is an old teacher adage that goes something like this: Beware of the week before a holiday and full moons. Actually, I just made that up - but it should be a timeless saying, passed down from a time before anyone can remember. For some odd and mystical reason students loose any semblance of sanity during the week before a major holiday. Maybe it is the excitement that the following week of freedom will provide - perhaps it is because they sense the teachers slackness because most educators are already in vacation mode. Who knows? There are four days left till the big two week winter break and the kids are living up to the old adage. Right before holidays is not the only time kids act like lunatics - student behavior is closer to pack animals or cave dwellers when the moon if full. I usually take off the full moon before summer break, just to play it safe.
Today, Nikki hit Ricky in the face with an open hand. It was a very good sounding slap that had a nice pop to it. This happened after she was timed-out and called everyone in the class every malicious word in the book. I lost track of how many F-Bombs she set off, but it probably set some sort of swearing record. The mental health counselor came into my classroom for something unrelated and saw how Nikki was behaving - she got her calmed down enough to walk out to the bus. Although Nikki got on the bus, she could not keep from cursing out everyone who was on it. The principal was out there and told Nikki to either sit down or she would have a police officer take her home. Nikki responded that she did not care about "no F'in police". She was kicked off the bus - once again ending up in my care. I stuck her in time-out until her mother came to get her. A normal parent would have been horrified by the evil deeds that Nikki had committed. Nikki's mother simply scooped her up and acted as if it was a huge inconvenience that she had to drive to the school to pick her up. It must have been difficult to come to the school during the only hour break she gets from her 23 hour extreme loafing block.

Get to know a drug: Concerta

First of all, I am not trying to attack Concerta's track record - I merely wish to give a little insight for parents or inexperienced teachers who have children and/or students on this type of medication. Alas, if it were not for Concerta, I probably would have left the teaching profession many years ago. Plus, I know that if it was not for this drug, and similar ones, some children would not be able to stay still long enough to learn anything.
Concerta helps many children to focus and eliminate distractions that would otherwise make it very difficult for them to learn in a structured environment. Concerta is for children and adults who suffer from AHDD and hypertension. There are two things that makes Concerta different and more attractive than other ADHD medications. For one, Concerta is a time-release pill. Meaning, the drug is released over time so it is supposed to last longer. The outer capsule is the immediate dose, followed by the inside of the pill, which slips through the blood brain barrier over time. The second thing is that this drug is a stimulant. How can a stimulant help someone who is already hyper? Amazingly, it has a calming effect on children who suffer from ADHD. Nobody knows how it actually works. One theory is that the brains of ADHD kids are so overloaded with hyperactivity that Concerta is too much for it to handle, so it crashes.
One thing that concerta.net says that I have to disagree with is that Concerta lasts all day long. I have found this not to be the case. I have had many students that took this drug and currently have three students who are on this drug. From my experience and observations, Even with a strong dose of Concerta, the drug is completely out of their system by noon. Say the parent gives the student the prescribed pill at 6:30 in the morning as they hop on the school bus. The drug will take about 45 minutes to kick in. So, let’s say the drug is completely in their system and is doing its job around 7:15 AM. Once lunch and recess are over it is about 12:45. By 12:45pm the drugs are no longer working and the problem behaviors come back with a vengeance (I have the behavior graphs to prove it). The problem got so bad with Ricky that we had to start giving him another dose of Concerta around 11 AM so that he would not be dancing on top of the cafeteria tables during lunch.
It does depend on the child, but most of the time Concerta will only last between four and five hours. Concerta pushers claim that one dose in the morning will continue working through the critical “homework” hours of 4 – 6 pm. That would be 12 hours. This is not the case for the children that I have known who took this drug.
Here are a two things that I think parents should know about this drug:

1) The students that I have known that have been on mid to high doses of Concerta often complain of stomach pain. Concerta.net claims that abdominal pain -as a side effect - only appeared in 5% of their tests.
2) Concerta will change your child’s personality once the drug takes effect. Hopefully these changes will be good changes. However, sometimes Concerta can make a child hollow and bland. It can turn a child who used to be glowing and alert into a gloomy and glazed-over one.

Tiger Woods sets a poor example for young adults

Boys and girls all over the world gaze upon the iconic image that Tiger Woods represents and say, "if he can do it, so can I." Don't you think some of those boys and girls look at what Tiger Woods has become - a multiple felon adulterer - and say the same thing? Marriage has already become a fifty-fifty shot; you win some, you lose some. It is no longer the 'till death do us part' arrangement that it was intended to be.
The students that I teach fully comprehend what marriage means. A man and a woman fall in love, commit to each other, and remain together forever. This is a very simple concept that adults have a hard time abiding by. Children like this concept because they can easily understand it and it makes perfect sense to them. What they do not understand is why a man or a woman would cheat on their spouse. I truly hope that they do not find out about this whole Tiger Woods thing, because we all know I will be the one to have to explain it to them. How do you explain complex infidelities to six and seven year olds who completely and innocently understand the concept of marriage?

Class Report: Dec 11, 2009

Nikki's medication wore off at about 12:30 pm and she began acting like an infant. She had been fine all morning long up to that point. On the playground she began calling other kids names, twirling a jump rope around like a lasso, throwing rocks and stealing other children's toys. I sat her on a bench to have a chat with her, but that was as pointless as synchronized swimming. Our whole class had to go inside because of her. Once inside, Nikki began calling John a "fat a**" and a "fat punk". I had to hold him back from ripping her head off. She did her timeout and all of a sudden wanted to say sorry to all those she offended beforehand. I told her that would take too long and gave her a snack because I am a sucker and because I hate seeing her cry. Afterwards, I checked her backpack and found 20 lollipops; the same kind I give out as rewards at the end of the day. I'm still not sure how she got into my stash.